Sep. 12th, 2014 11:37 pm[personal profile] krm
krm: (Smulder)
Sometimes, I have these I-don't-give-a-fuck moments in regards to other people and how they might possibly perceive me. This is one of those moments.

Hello, dear America. I have come to talk to you about SEX.
(Obviously, this is not exclusively for Americans, because as this is a post on the Internet, anyone with Internet access may read this post. That's perfectly fine.)

It has come to my realization, however belatedly, how much sex has been integrated as a social stigma in American society. I have no solution to discuss on this matter at present except to tell everyone who would rather say "the naughty" as opposed to a three letter word, Get. The. Fuck. Over it.

I have had a few experiences recently in my day-to-day that have brought my attention to this rather immature approach Americans (usually subscribing to a certain political affiliation, but not always) typically have toward SEX. (I'm breaking you of that innate cringe you get when you read SEX by typing it in capslock. Not entirely sure if this will actually prove successful). I'm not going to discuss the fairly lacking of sex education present in public school systems (because as a student of the public system, I can say that it is, only lecturing over the pedantic virtues of abstinenceand the subsequent, IMMINENT danger of STD's that will automatically occur to you once you partake of The Intercourse. Whoops, I mean SEX).

My observations will inevitably relate back to the Gender Issue as well as the Feminist Issue, but as much as I have strong feelings about all such social matters, I am primarily here to discuss SEX with you.

My first incident involves a conversation I overheard while in the employee lounge at work.  It was a conversation that three people took part in, two of which I know well enough from school years (and as a result, I know them well enough to firmly refuse friendly association with them).  Somehow their conversation veered to the topic of sexuality.  Their voices were very loud and obnoxious, though I suppose that feature should have no real bearing on the subject matter at hand.One young woman repeatedly accused several members of the opposite sex to be "gay", and the tone and manner of which she spoke of her accusations indicated she had no qualms about outing these individuals in rather humiliating situations.  With the same breath, she vowed that a person's sexuality didn't matter her.

Note:  For the sake of equality, the matter of someone's sexuality should not be considered a point to draw out in a forcefully conversation.  If sexuality truly did not matter to her, she would not have approached these people with the clear attempt to shame them publicly.  As a general rule, this is not okay.  Futhermore, a person's sexuality is none of your business unless you or, reasonably, your partner are the person in question.

One young man in this same conversation frequently declared in a boisterous voice that he was "bi-curious".  Between each declaration he would ensure his true uncertainty on the matter, almost retracting his statement because he recognized he was not truly bi-curious, but only wanted to seem that way, literally for the sake of being "cool." (quote)

Another note: Your own sexuality is your prerogative.  But lying about it and faking it can be practically harmful for the LGBT community.  If you turn sexuality in a "fad", as in something that people do not seriously commit to or expressing that people have a choice in this "lifestyle", this is not okay.

Minutes later the conversation turned to the subject of pansexuality.  One member of the conversation asked what it was.  The original young woman defined that a person who was pansexual wanted to have sex with everything.  The idea was repeatedly mocked.

Third note: A pansexual is not a person who wants to have sex with "everything".  A pansexual is a person who may be attracted to anyone of either sex, no matter what gender role they associate with. (Besides, if a person wanted to have SEX with everyone, WHO CARES? As long as sex is not non-consensual, SEX is OKAY.) 

My annoyance of this conversation made it to a topically vague Facebook status.  A dear woman close to me inquired about it several hours later.  Knowing her political affiliation, I described to her of the scene, keeping my own personal views out of it.  When I got to the subject of pansexuality, her eyes got rather wide.  She agreed with their presumptuous, incorrect definition of pansexuality and called anyone who was one a "Whore."

I left the conversation with a new awareness of slut-shaming.  Slut-shaming, I believe, inevitable is the result of the SEX social stigma.  For some reason, we see it as bad.  SEX is BAD.  Premarital sex is BAD.  Unprotected sex is BAD (which it can be in the case o STD's).  Sex with multiple partners is BAD. 

Why, why, why is it bad? Why?  I can understand it its evil-ness in the matter of rape, sexually trasmitted diseases, and unplanned pregnancies.  (I will NOT touch the subject of abortion right now.  Another post for another time).  But sex is fundamentally at our core.  It feels good.  It offers health benefits, pain relief even.  PROCREATION.  I simply do not get why people have such a hard time say SEX in a normal conversation.  Without SEX, YOU would not be standing there.  You would not be reading this.  I would not be writing this.  SEX is everywhere.  SEX is present in our lives.  It built society, caused wars, brought forth new thinking and new ideas.  And somehow, a large percentage of people cringe at the mere word.

Again, I'm not deviating to the topic of "sex sells" and sex consumerism.  But sex is very present, otherwise it wouldn't sell so fucking well.

I was watching a British show with my sister today.  I've never seen it before.  It's called Skins, and I found an immediate draw to it. It shows SEX, integrates SEX into its main theme essentially, relating just how much people do have SEX.  They normalize it.  Or perhaps it just is normal in the UK.  I don't know; I don't live there. I don't know how things go or are perceived over there.

One thing that fascinated me the most about it was the mention of the ever-elusive female orgasm.  It was a thing.  They mentioned it.  It exists.  It is equally okay for women to enjoy SEX just as much as men.

Another conversation I had with a friend: she was discussing a trailer for a production we are going to see.  She confided to me that she's now having second thoughts about seeing it, simply for the fact that the women are dressed scantily. 

My response?  I really just blinked at her.  "Why?  You have boobs.  I have boobs.  We know what they look like.  Everyone knows what they look like.  They are just a natural part of life."

She uncomfortably ended the conversation, and I realize belatedly that I probably should not have been so blunt with my reply.  There is another side to my argument as well.  Just as people can be comfortable with SEX, some people may not like it at all.  And that is okay as well.  Everyone has different preferences.  But the matter is that everyone should be accepted, not just tolerated.  And "accepted" does not mean conforming yourself to a disagreeable lifestyle.  It just means that people should not be shamed for who they are.

Okay, I'm done for the night. There's a lot more I can add to this, but I have better things to do than stand on my political soapbox, shouting into the void.
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