krm's cataloging; uncatalogued

I'm putting this on my informal, personal blog because this includes details concerning my personal life.  No one has technically asked me this question, though I sense it lingers in the peripheral of some thoughts.  But here is my answer to:

It's been nearly two years since your last book.  What gives?  When will the next one be ready?

Aye, it has been nearly two nears since the release of Prince of the Vale (December 11, 2015).  To preface this rather complicated answer, let me update the status on the projects that are works in progress.  There's two of them:  The Midwinter Fairytale and Queen of the Pyre.  Midwinter is a standalone lyrical novel.  It's nearly completed, pending the remaining last chapters and my editor's progress.  Queen is perhaps the more anticipated of these works (both by my editor and several fans).  My editor has not seen the draft for Queen yet and will not for at least a while.  The draft is about 30% completed.  I have the outline hammered out, it just takes more focus to put it to paper/word document. I want to finish Midwinter first.

So now, for the why part.

Since the initial beginnings for both Midwinter and Queen, I have undergone SEVERAL changes in my personal life.  Namely, I have transitioned from a rather unhealthy romantic relationship to one that is perfectly wholesome and happy.  In light of the recent Hollywood sexual assault allegations coming to light (i.e. the #MeToo movement), one would think that it would be easy for me to freely talk about my experiences.  However, it is not, especially with the certain events still rather fresh on my memory and that unique fear of outing the abuser.  So many conversations, defenses, justifications I do not yet want to share. Simply put, a lot of bad stuff happened in that relationship.  I won't go into details today. 

As far as my writing goes, my current published works were completed and published during a time when I was in that relationship (even so much as when that relationship ended for a brief time and was once again reinstated).  As can be expected from any unhealthy relationship, there was a lot of bad stuff. A lot of negative emotions.  I was in a bad headspace for a long time (8.5 years! Nearly a decade! Particularly during my formative years!).  I was typically angry, sad, upset, and depressed.  When I wrote, I wrote as a form of escapism, although I was not necessarily aware of this method at the time.  It is clear me to now (hindsight is 20/20, eh?).  I wrote to relieve the intense pressure of my emotions, an outlet if you will.  For the most part, it worked.  It produced two novels.

Now, sans unhealthy relationship, I am in a completely different headspace.  I still have my depression, but it flares up much more infrequently now.  I do not feel all those negative emotions as I once did, at least not to the same degree (I'm still human, I still get sad and angry).  It's not a constant state of mind for me.  And, trust me, that is a much welcome change.   

I have still written this past year.  Not as frequently as I'd like, but enough to show me that I still can.  My talent is not exclusive to my pain, be it emotional, mental, psychological, or even, dare I say, physical pain.  But my situation forces me to approach writing from a different angle than I had previously.  Much different things occupy my thoughts now and my responsibilities and priorities have shifted significantly to accommodate the normal expectations of a well-functioning or adapting adult.  I no longer have massive amounts of pain I need to release or avoid.  So now, I need to engineer my methods from this new perspective.  I can do it; I've done it, bit by bit this year.  But, to say the least, it's certainly been an adjustment period.

Adjustment.  That's a nice word for this transition.

There are other things, of course, that require my focus and energy that hadn't previously.  My new job as a teacher.  Wedding preparations, and other adjustments to make with this new life I've established for myself.

Rest assured.  Things are much better now for the authoress.  And I'm working as diligently as I can.  Stay tuned.  <3

 I must get out of this habit of updating so sluggishly. 

When last I left this blog, I had an approaching interview. I was actually offered that specific job, but it was only part time, and it was a bit of a drive, and a pretty good pay cut from the then-current part time. There was a great opportunity for advancement and opportunity, but I had to decline, especially for other options that opened up for me. Shortly before Christmas, I discovered a neighboring county was in the market for hiring a ninth grade English teacher. I managed to secure a job interview for the day after I contacted the principal, and the VERY next day, I received a phone call offering me that job. Seeing that it was in the middle of the school year and being a VERY recent graduate (because of my student teaching days, my diploma + licensure was delayed) and that this was the job I'd been going to college for, of course I accepted the position.

I started in January, and I left the part-time early February, finally. I've had a lot of compliments from fellow teachers and administration about my performance, very complimentary for being a first year teacher. There are struggles of course, but I know that, for the moment, this is the path for me. I'm almost certain that I've got a place in this school system should I want to continue to work there.

A lot of other changes have been made too, on a more personal level. The turmoil I'd been expressing in previous entries had at last been confronted. The relationship that I had been in for a little over eight years ended by my choice. I'm not going to get into the messy details about it; there are of course somethings I would have changed about that break up. To put it simply, that relationship was unhealthy and toxic, for both parties I'm sure. The break up was overdue. I knew it, the people around us knew it, it just took a while for the Ex to realize and accept this Truth.

There's a lot I could say in regards to this event that stretched out longer than necessary. I could smear names, insist to my own innocence. But I'm not going to dwell on that negativity any more. That chapter of my life has ended. I know what happened; and that's enough for me.

And so begins the new chapter.

His name is Jamie. And he is the soul that puts mine, finally, at peace. He is a spirit recognized by my own, perhaps since we first encountered each other. My draw to him was undeniable, for my end to the very least, and for him as well, I would later discover. I wish I could describe the perfect happiness that is him, but I'm sure that would take a novel, and I should be completing another novel of a different sort.

Things are still in a transition period of sorts. There's so much I have left unsaid. But that's for another time. For now, Au Revoir.